When I was little I lived with my mum, due to circumstances that would take all day to explain but involved abuse and neglect, I moved in with my dad, stepmum and two-step sister.    I no longer saw my birth mother or members from that family.

I never missed out on anything. I was a daddy’s girl and very spoilt by my gran (dad’s mum).

my mum (step-mum) never made me feel unwanted, my two sisters (step-sisters) never made me feel like they weren’t my sisters.

Now we weren’t well off, but if my sisters got something then I got it too.
but to me, growing up it didn’t feel that way. Middle child with two stunningly beautiful sisters I never fit in. Now most of this was due to me. I never really tried overly hard to fit in with people. When I was 15, my sister Hollie actually yelled at me questioning why ~I had to be so weird.

Was I weird? Probably. I’ve always suffered with depression, feeling insecure physically didn’t help.  I’m not a particularly social person, I don’t know how to make friends or communicate very well. We also moved a lot, this didn’t help.

When  I was 14 I decided I was going off to meet my mother. I did. When I was 17 I moved in with her. She always denied having harmed me in any way. I loved being a big sister to Saffron, Megan and Glenn. Eventually Saffron married and had children. I loved being an aunt and had the boys a lot.

Over a year ago I fell out with my birth mother. She hadn’t come when I had a really bad seizure and had asked for her. I didn’t ask for anything from her, this time I really wanted the comfort of having my mother. She did not pick up the phone. Arguments ensued and things were said and in the end I said enough was enough, I’d always felt slightly used. I  had to go to them, they didn’t show up when we made plans, they only called if they needed something.
Due to that falling out I have now lost touch with my sister, brother and nephews. none will speak to me.  I don’t know what was said to them but it breaks my heart.

Family can be a bitch. I mean all people can but family are supposed to love you unconditionally.

So what do you do when they don’t?

Am I ranting? Perhaps. But at least I know who I can rely on.

My family mean the world to me and all are ready to offer support when it’s needed. So I love you: Rebecca, David, Fraser, Alison, Alison, Alistair, Euan, Morag, William, ann, Stuart, Tracy, Aline, Gaye, Damien, Joanna, Tammie, Carrie, Mark, Therene, Steven, Brandon.
And thank you to Nanny Pat (mum Angie’s mum), Sylvis (Hollie’s gran on her dad’s side.) Jessica (Sylvia’s daughter)

There are many more, family who have loved me, cared for me. Family that unfortunately passed away. It just proves a point that blood doesn’t make you family, love does.

So…

Thank you. Gran Mary, Dad Wull, Mum Angie and my sisters Kim and Hollie.

And a huge thank you to my husband Mark. Always there regardless of how crazy I sometimes seem.