Review – Masturbation – Zachary Rowell
Written in a sing song rhyming way it’s a lot of crude fun!
There are cheeky little illustrations as well to make you laugh. Crude but incredibly funny. Obviously it’s for more mature people as it does have sexual content. (If you didn’t notice this by the title you’re in serious trouble!)
“First people got sick. Then they got really sick.”
” Still it’s probably nothing to worry about. People get sick all the time.”
If you don’t know already the suspected terrorist attack on the cruise liner, Spirit of Kirkpatrick, is from the book by the same author, Seasick. It is not necessary to the book to read Seasick first, but it’s a nice little fact, I think. Jan’s son Damien is a character in Final Storm. I love how Iain Rob Wright uses connections like this.
Nick Adams is our lead. Unsatisfied in his phone shop managerial job he seems to nevertheless be a nice guy. Going home to his wife and son he does seem worried as they’re both becoming ill with what is presumed to be a particularly virulent flu bug. Accidentally killing his rabid son he is unable to reach emergency services and then has to combat his rabid wife.
Things are not going well for Nick.
There is a nice and realistic feeling to Nick. He seems exactly like a normal bloke and you go along with him as he struggles to cope with and understand the devastation happening around him.
We meet Eve and Dave and Pauline as well as the other passengers on the bus that Dave drives. We see their first deliberate violence against the infected and the confusion and effect it has on them.
We hear Nick make the old horror movie mistake. “I think we’re through the worst of it. This day can’t get any worse.”
Never, ever mention those words. Things can and do ALWAYS get worse.
“I think crazy got invited to the party today.”
Introducing Annaliese in part two and allowing us to follow another characters point of view and experience of the virus is refreshing and appreciated. We watch as she finishes a gruelling shift as a zoo vet and how she first comes into contact with the infected.
“The sudden fright sent shockwaves of adrenaline through her veins.”
“Like a starving animal, he sunk his teeth into her windpipe, cutting dead her screams and reducing them to a pained gargle.”
‘Annaliese shook her head. “This wasn’t your fault.”
“No,” he said, thrusting the bloody meat tenderiser in her face. “You’re right. It’s your fault.”
We’ve seen Nick risk himself to save the other members of his little group of survivors and bore witness to Dave attempting to be the group leader. We now see this with Annaliese as Shawcross attempts leadership and Anna is willing to risk her life so her small group of survivors have a chance to escape to safety.
I like that the settings are real. Nick ‘s house, the road, a bus, a hotel, a small animal park/zoo. Real places were you may attempt to remain safe and hidden during the whole end of the world zombie apocalypse thing.
I love that Annaliese’s character is flawed. She’s not a perfect hero. She has suffered in her life and she turned to drink to cope.
The scenes that involve her and Lily the orangutan are written so well. Seeing Lily loose her family too was heartbreaking in a way that only a skilled writer could make you feel.
“If we leave them down there to die, then we become the monsters.”
Part three reverts back to Nick ‘s view point. It shows the two groups of survived coming together.
I feel I need to point out that although this is a zombie horror, the zombies themselves are secondary to the trials of coping with the unexpectedness of the end of human life as we know it. It feels like so much more than a standard novel about zombies, Iain enthralls you with the dynamics of people and the complexities of the intermingling of people who would not normally mix.
“Their hands touched. Lily’s rough fingertips slid over the cold flesh on the back of Nick’s hand. She let out a soft hoot.”
The add of Lily brings a much deeper sympathy. You see people connect with her in so many ways and each is touching. I love the description in these scenes that capture you with a little bit of wonder in the otherwise bleak world of survival.
“You can’t stay here for long Lily. I’m sick, eventually I’ll get dangerous. But I think you understand that. For now though I’m glad you’re here. I hope you make it out of this mess better than me.”
Watch as power threatens to corrupt in even these dangerous times. See how the group divides and who makes it out.
Don’t stop after the epilogue. Read through Path of Infection Seasick to find out how Nick ends up in line after the boat explosion. This novel can stand alone but as I mentioned earlier Seasick explains what came first, and is set on the boat Spirit of Kirkpatrick, the one that exploded on the Mediterranean. Then the story continues in Savage.
My husband has an amputated finger and often complained that the PS 3 controller was uncomfortable so when I bought the PS 4 I also purchased this.
Was certainly worth it. He says it makes the controller very comfortable to use for extended periods of time and it looks good too which is an additional bonus!
Cheap and comes in a variety of colours etc. Something to suit everything and easily the best buy for the PS4 to date. Added bonus is that it’s cheap aswell.
I longed for his eyes to open, the sparkle in his bright blue eyes always bought a smile to my face. His eyes that reminded me so much of my father’s eyes. I was always sad when I thought about how much my son would miss by not having his Grandpa in his life. I listened to the noises that the machines in the room made. They had a melody all of their own if you sat and listened to them day after day. But the only one that made sense to me was the steady beat coming from the heart monitor, this was the important to me, the one I really cared about. As long as that machine continued to drum then everything else would surely be fine. I looked at the others that cluttered the room, each of them giving off their own strange noise sending data out. I pictured the great supercomputer that I imagined must gather all of this information; I laughed as I imagined it sitting in the basement of the large hospital building consuming all the information from the many patients.
“Look at the wee lass and say aye, Farrell.”
Doing as he was bid, Farrell watched the expressions of the surrounding witnesses. All looked tense and ready to leave.
Relieved when he was unbound from the lass he thought to remove his hand but his fathers strong grip stilled his actions. Kneeling beside him again, his fathers large hand dwarfed his as he spoke quietly, “Lad ye need tay give the lass a wee fairling. Something awfa special.”
Farrell’s free hand immediately and unconsciously sought the smooth surface of his newest treasure. Just a month past he had helped his uncle to skin the howling, raging demon monster that had plagued their lands and slaughtered their livestock. He heard the word wolf many times but to his ears the name did not do justice to the snarling, matted creature he had witnessed meet its end at the hands of his clan.
The tooth was his proudest possession. His gift to commemorate his first involvement with a hunt.
Unhappily he removed the leather thong from which it hung and pleaded silently with his father. He did not want to part with something so special, and he saw no reason that the blabbering lass would deserve such a fine trophy. And yet the soft look in his father’s eyes pleased him.
Pushing the tooth at the wee lass, he angrily watched as the bairn proceeded to shove it towards her mouth. Catching her hand, he grimaced, did the wee thing nay ken nothing? He tied the throng to her belt, using the knot that Alasdair had taught him to make sure that little fingers couldn’t pry it loose.
“Now, give the lass a wee kiss.”
He looked sharply at his father. Had the man lost his senses? He was Farrell Quainn, nine year old heir to these lands, and he didn’t go around kissing no baby’s.
“Do as I bid, mind.” His father reminded him.
Shocked and displeased at the command, he obeyed, leaning down and scrunching up his nose as he quickly pecked a kiss to a squidgy cheek.
He stood uncomfortably as the wee lass flung her arms around his legs, shocking him with the strength of her grip.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00KUQRJFI/ref=oh_aui_d_detailpage_o05_?ie=UTF8&psc=1
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http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00KLCZSPO/ref=oh_aui_d_detailpage_o02_?ie=UTF8&psc=1
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00M7GOV7I/ref=oh_aui_d_detailpage_o01_?ie=UTF8&psc=1
My playlist is filled with Yiruma, I love him!
Today is the wonderful Vonda Sinclair’s birthday and I’m sure I’m not alone in wishing her a very happy day.
But wishing her a happy birthday this year I’m sure is tinged with sadness, you see, towards the end of last month I learnt that this glorious woman lost her beloved husband of 20+ years. No funeral for my family has ever been complete without a hymn that means a lot to me personally, and so I dedicate this video to what must have been a truly wonderful and inspiring man.
Vonda, my thoughts are with you.
Now I wish to to inrtoduce you or refamiliarise you with the wonderful works that inspire so many.
All the books in the Highland Adventure Series by Vonda Sinclair are standalone books, but they are also interrelated. I hope you enjoy them!
http://www.amazon.com/My-Fierce-Highlander-Vonda-Sinclair/dp/1469941082/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1411371763&sr=8-5&keywords=vonda+sinclair
Gwyneth Carswell, an English lady banished by her father to the harsh Scottish Highlands, wants nothing more than to take her young son away from the violence of two fighting clans–her own distant kin, the MacIrwins, and their enemies, the MacGraths. She risks everything to rescue the fierce MacGrath warrior from the battlefield where he’s left for dead by her clan. She only knows she is inexplicably drawn to him and he wants peace as she does. When her clan learns of her betrayal, they seek vengeance. Dare she trust the enemy more than her own family?
Laird Alasdair MacGrath is driven to end two-hundred years of feuding with the MacIrwins. But by taking in and protecting Lady Gwyneth and her son, he provokes more attacks from his mortal enemy. As the danger and conflict surrounding them escalate, Alasdair and Gwyneth discover an explosive passion neither of them expected. With the arrival of a powerful man from her past, a horrible decision confronts her–give up her son or the man she loves.
Wonderfully packed with stunning love and wild adventures, Vonda Sinclair’s first book in the Highland Adventure series is just what an exciting Scottish historic romance should be.http://www.amazon.com/My-Wild-Highlander-Vonda-Sinclair/dp/147833763X/ref=pd_sim_b_1?ie=UTF8&refRID=1E0P8CYEZ3NRHMB4MSTG
Lady Angelique Drummagan, a half-Scottish, half-French countess, has suffered much pain and betrayal in her past. She wants nothing to do with the sensual Scottish warrior that the king has ordered her to marry because the rogue could never be a faithful husband, but she has little choice in the matter. Dangerous, greedy enemies threaten her from all sides and she’s in dire need of his protection. Sir Lachlan MacGrath, known as Seducer of the Highlands, possesses a charming wickedness and canny wit which has earned him much popularity. After the king decrees that he wed the fiery hellion, Lachlan discovers there is one woman who can resist him–Angelique. Can he break through her icy façade and melt her heart, or will the dark secrets lurking in her past not only cost them their future together, but their very lives?
http://www.amazon.com/My-Brave-Highlander-Vonda-Sinclair/dp/1478342773/ref=pd_sim_b_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=0KZCMAJTXJ59C5QHX4Z4
Battle-hardened warrior Dirk MacLerie isn’t who everyone thinks he is. He’s Dirk MacKay, heir apparent to the MacKay chiefdom and Dunnakeil Castle on the far north coast of Scotland. When he returns home after a long absence, will his clan know him and will the duplicitous enemy who tried to murder him twelve years ago kill him in truth this time? Lady Isobel MacKenzie is a beautiful young widow betrothed to yet another Highland chief by her brother’s order. But when her future brother-in-law accosts her and threatens to kill her, she is forced to flee into a Highland snowstorm. When she runs into a rugged and imposing man she thought dead, she wonders if he will turn her over to her enemy or take her to safety. Dirk remembers the enchanting, dark-eyed Isobel from when he was a lad, but now she is bound to another man by legal contract—an important detail she would prefer to forget. She wishes to choose her own husband and has her sights set on Dirk. But he would never steal another man’s bride… would he? The tantalizing lady fires up his passions, testing his willpower and honor at every turn, even as some of his own treacherous clansmen plot his downfall.
http://www.amazon.com/Daring-Highlander-Highland-Adventure-Volume/dp/1492995851/ref=pd_sim_b_4?ie=UTF8&refRID=10NV84CM79C975WZP8NT
Beautiful and fiercely protective of those she loves, Lady Seona Murray captured Keegan MacKay’s attention when she first set foot in Dunnakeil Castle. Though she is a chief’s daughter and forbidden, Keegan has fallen in love with her from afar and burns to possess her. But so does the clan traitor, Haldane, an obsessive outlaw bent on murder and kidnapping. Sinfully handsome, Keegan MacKay is a fearsome guard as well as the chief’s cousin, but Seona’s father would never consider him a worthy husband for her because he is not a titled laird. Seona has secretly watched the sensual, tawny-haired warrior from across the crowded great hall for months, but when he is tasked with escorting her across Scotland, back to her home, their simmering attraction flames into sizzling passion with just one kiss. Though she fears she is endangering Keegan’s life, Seona cannot resist his seductive charm or his spellbinding kisses. Keegan sets fire to the memories of her sad past and shows her what it means to truly live. But her father has other plans. He’s arranged for her to marry a wealthy Lowland laird. Is Keegan daring enough to steal her away? Or will the vindictive Haldane snatch her first?
http://www.amazon.com/Notorious-Highlander-Highland-Adventure-Volume/dp/1493505394/ref=pd_sim_b_1?ie=UTF8&refRID=02VJFVD99QB17XGQ8E71
Chief Torrin MacLeod vows to possess and wed the spirited lady who stole his heart the previous winter. But Lady Jessie MacKay wants naught to do with the dangerous warrior, no matter how devilishly handsome and charming he is. When Torrin arrives unexpectedly at Jessie’s home, along with Gregor MacBain, a man Jessie was formerly handfasted to, she is thrown off-kilter. She never wanted to see either man again, but now they are vying for her hand. Torrin promises to protect her from the devious MacBain, but how can she trust Torrin when she has witnessed how lethal he is? The more time Torrin spends with the strong and independent Jessie, the more determined he is to win her heart. Once she allows him a kiss, he feels her passion flame as hot as his own. After she knows Torrin better, Jessie finds herself falling for the fearsome Highlander. But the odds are stacked against them. The sinister MacBain is bent on kidnapping Jessie, making her his bride and killing Torrin, while Jessie’s conniving younger brother, Haldane, is determined to use Jessie to take over the castle in his older brother’s absence. Jessie fears she can never be with the man she loves, while Torrin will do everything in his power to ensure they are together forever. In his heart, she is the only lady for him.
http://www.amazon.com/Rebel-Highlander-Highland-Adventure-Volume/dp/149956175X/ref=pd_sim_b_1?ie=UTF8&refRID=0R5EBZAK5KNV1SWD6W94
Known for his wicked wit, fierce loyalty, and skills in battle, Robert “Rebbie” MacInnis, the Earl of Rebbinglen, loves freedom and has no plans of marrying anytime soon. But when his father, a powerful Scottish marquess, signs a contract betrothing Rebbie to an earl’s young daughter, he is furious. If he has to marry, he’s determined to choose his own bride, though he has no inkling who he would wish to wed until fate intervenes to remind him of one fair-haired, nameless beauty and the passionate night they spent together years ago. A night forever etched in his memory. Lady Calla Ferguson, a penniless widow with a young son, is forced to seek employment as her cousin’s companion in order to pay her late husband’s massive gambling debt. Having been ignored or mistreated most of her life, Calla has become a resourceful survivor who will stop at nothing to get what she wants—safety and security for her son and herself. Wealthy merchant, Claybourne cares little for the money the Earl of Stanbury owed him; he simply wants the earl’s beautiful, voluptuous widow and he’ll do whatever it takes to get his hands on her, even kidnapping and blackmail. When Rebbie happens upon Claybourne abducting Calla, he rescues her and hides her in a secluded castle deep in the wild Scottish Highlands. Calla conceals her passionate spirit beneath reserve and duty, along with closely-guarded secrets which, if exposed, could ruin both her life and her son’s. Years ago, she lost her heart to a dark-eyed stranger she never thought to see again, but now he’s her protector. Rebbie craves another pleasurable night like the one they shared in the past, and she cannot resist the fiery passion that echoes deep in her heart and soul. Soft but strong, Calla sparks within Rebbie a desperate hunger and a need to protect her. But will her secrets tear them apart?
Amazon Bio below..
Vonda Sinclair’s favorite indulgent pastime is exploring Scotland, from Edinburgh to the untamed and windblown north coast. She also enjoys creating hot, Highland heroes and spirited lasses to drive them mad. Her historical romance novels have won an EPIC Award and a National Readers’ Choice Award. She lives in the mountains of North Carolina where she is no doubt creating another Scottish story. Please visit her website at http://www.vondasinclair.com
So I thought long and hard about what to review.
Ok, I’m lying, I didn’t.
I DID initially plan to review a film or something. I was thinking about how I’d only reviewed book, unless you count forcing the poor husband to cook! But I just felt like crap and realised it probably wasn’t a good idea to do anything too taxing.
In my ‘feeling down and low and sorry for myself’ state I pulled a book off my bookcase that always makes me smile.
I found Hyperbole and a half as a website back in 2010, I think it was..
I came across this, I forget how.
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co.uk/2010/02/boyfriend-doesnt-have-ebola-probably.html
Anyway it lifted me and I went straight to reading her whole blog and followed it. So it seemed only right that when a book was published that my preorder was in!
Allie writes and illustrates her childhood, animals and her own struggle with depression in a way that is candid, honest and brings a smile to your face.
There isn’t a huge amount you can say to review this book. It’s great. If you read her book you’ll love it! If you haven’t read the blog then why not.
Get over there, blog and book, I promise you won’t regret it.
I owe a huge personal thank you to Allie, I only hope there’s more to come!
For those that know me this will come as no suprise but I’m cheap.
Yeah, one and the same thing right?
This is what I like to see. This is the price I like to pay. I don’t want to be cheap and cheerful, for a change I’d like to be rich and miserable.
See above picture? I would be so HAPPY. I LOVE books!!!!
Which gets me back on topic.
I’m actually paying for this book!
Now, obviously I haven’t read it yet but expect it soon!!!!!!
I reveiwed Nina Mason’s last book here and now I’m going to do her next.
https://eruthvenstevenson.com/2014/08/03/sunday-review-nina-masons-the-queen-of-swords/
The Tin Man – Nina Mason
http://ninamasonauthor.com/the-tin-man/
Synoposis (taken from Amazon)
Product Description
The last thing Alex Buchanan, the editor-in-chief of a formidable news site, expects as he looks around the newsroom at the bodies of his editors, is that he’ll soon be teaming up with The Ball Buster to solve the crime and stay alive. Well, maybe not the last thing. The last thing he expects is to fall for her or any other woman. Because he’s The Tin Man–a suit of armor without a heart. Or so he believes… The Ball Buster is his private nickname for Thea Hamilton, a smart, gutsy, and insecure investigative reporter for The New York News, America’s newspaper of record. They went out once years ago–an unmitigated disaster during which she jumped all over his case about smoking. When events force them together, they embark on an emotion-charged, high-octane quest for the truth, ending up in bed, but also in the clutches of a sociopathic corporate raider. “Zeus” is obsessed with James Bond and owns a hardcore S & M club in an old fallout shelter. Is he the killer? And, if so, what’s his motive? What he hopes to gain by torturing the journalists is clearer: the proof they’ve uncovered of a corporate takeover scheme that threatens the future of democracy. And he’ll stop at nothing to get it.
Emma Ruthven-Stevenson 