A is for….

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A is for….
Alasdair.

 

Alasdair \a-las-dair, al(a)-sdair\ as a boy’s name (also used as girl’s name Alasdair), is pronounced AL-as-dare. It is of Greek origin, and the meaning of Alasdair is “man’s defender“. Scottish Gaelic form of Alexander, often anglicized as Alistair.

 

Alasdair is the hero in Book one of the Highland Fairlings series.

 

‘Silence descended as sixteen year old Ina faced him across the stretch of field. He knew that his own burly, growing power made the small lass appear even smaller, and he was confident that his skill would prove the foolishness of allowing a wee lass to compete. And yet he was loathe to harm her.
Servants and warriors alike looked on as a champion of each clan, both descended from laird’s, stood opposite one another. Both lairds looked on in shock and bewilderment at the outcome and then smiled secret smiles. All of this was clear to Alasdair as he looked at a way of ending this humiliating display as quickly and as cleanly as possible. He could not believe that he was expected to battle her.
He was pleasantly shocked at her easy grace and put aside his feelings of being too easy on her. If she truly believed herself to be so great then he was determined to prove otherwise.
Their dancing, light steps were punctuated by loud clangs of weapons striking each other, startled gasps came from the spectators.
But he was the more experienced warrior and the one with greater strength. It was too easy for him to reach out a strong hand and boldly pull the small figure closer to him, his teeth clenched as he moved his heavy blunted blade in defense against her unrelenting attack.
“Yield tay me, fair one.” His voice was soft but in the unnatural stillness of the afternoon the words carried easily.
“Never!”
Wresting herself out of his arms she quickly returned her attack, focusing what must have been all of her power into defeating him.
He intended to make sure that she would be unable to.
With their lunges and strikes growing in intensity, Alasdair finally spotted an opening and quickly forced the lass’ sword from her hand. Unaware any more of their witnesses, he caught her as she stumbled at the impact and instinctively he pulled her soft form tightly into his frame. Pleased surprise coursed through him as the lass’ hidden curves flattened against him and he found himself curiously looking down into her ocean coloured eyes before jerking his head back in disbelief at the sharp pain under his chin.
Pushing away from the triumphantly smiling girl Alasdair placed disbelieving fingers to his tender flesh and studied the small drops of blood that stained them.
He raised his eyes, claiming hers once more and was astounded by the glee he saw there as she raised her small, tightly clenched dirk, his own blood was visible on the blade. Holding her gaze, he easily breached the gap between them. He dropped his weapon to the ground and he used both hands to haul her trembling frame into his tight embrace forcing her head back as he roughly claimed her lips with his, much to the shocked gasps of their witnesses.
With a hand that spanned almost her entire waist moving slowly up her back, he pulled her closer still, deepening the kiss and running his tongue over her lips. Her eyes fluttered shut and unsteady hands came up to clutch at his shoulders as she submitted to his onslaught. With both hands holding tightly to him, her dirk was dropped and forgotten in the power of her first kiss.
Smiling against her lips. Moving his mouth away, he heard the angry approach of both her father and his own. He looked once more into her deep eyes. His smile lifted as the realisation of their situation became clear to her outraged senses. His own dirk was held above her throat, her discarded one was now in his hand and resting above her heart.
Grinning widely, he slid both small weapons into the pocket created by his plaid. Turning away as the two lairds helped the stunned lass to her feet, he called back, “Ye fought well. But ye still be just a lass.”
He laughed at her agitated shriek and continued towards his cheering men.’

 

 

 

I chose the name because I love it. I’ve always been a fan of the name Alexander and that had been my original choice but it just didn’t feel right, somehow. And so it was therefore obvious to me that Alasdair was the right choice!

 

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So…… A Little Something

I’m in the process of typing out edits etc and realising how much harder Ebha’s story has been to complete than I ever thought it would be.
And so in the middle of everything I’ve been neglectful in updates, etc.

Randomly searching the net I came across this:

http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/p/what-is-blogging-from-to-z.html

And thought it looked great. Now obviously I can’t really compete as it’s way too late in April for that but I liked the idea so much that I’m going to use it.

So stayed tuned while I run down an A – Z list from the writing I do. Everything will have something to do with my writing, I’ll explain as we go along. Be prepared for spoilers!!

Grief

Unfortunately loss has touched our lifes again. Grief and bereavement touch each person in a different way but it must be felt, it must be experienced.

 

bereavement2

 

Bereavement Quotes and Sayings

“While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil.” – John Taylor.
“Heaven is a place nearby, so there’s no need to say goodbye.” – Lene Marlin
“To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.” – Thomas Campbell
“Bereavement is a darkness impenetrable to the imagination of the unbereaved.” – Jane Welsh Carlyle
“Bereavement is the deepest initiation into the mysteries of human life, an initiation more searching and profound than even happy love.” – William Ralph Inge
“Never does one feel oneself so utterly helpless as in trying to speak comfort for great bereavement.” – Jane Welsh Carlyle
“Peace, peace! he is not dead, he doth not sleep — he hath awakened from the dream of life — ‘Tis we, who lost in stormy visions, keep with phantoms an unprofitable strife.” – Percy Bysshe Shelley
“If, as I can’t help suspecting, the dead also feel the pains of separation (and this may be one of their purgatorial sufferings), then for both lovers, and for all pairs of lovers without exception, bereavement is a universal and integral part of our experience of love.” – C. S. Lewis
“For precious friends hid in death’s dateless night.” – William Shakespeare
“We feel at first as if some opportunities of kindness and sympathy were lost, but learn afterward that any pure grief is ample recompense for all. That is, if we are faithful; — for a spent grief is but sympathy with the soul that disposes events, and is as natural as the resin of Arabian trees. — Only nature has a right to grieve perpetually, for she only is innocent. Soon the ice will melt, and the blackbirds sing along the river which he frequented, as pleasantly as ever. The same everlasting serenity will appear in this face of God, and we will not be sorrowful, if he is not.” – Henry David Thoreau
“Bereavement is the sharpest challenge to our trust in God; if faith can overcome this, there is no mountain which it cannot remove.” – Dean Inge
“The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing… not healing, not curing… that is a friend who cares.” – Henri Nouwen
“Never does one feel oneself so utterly helpless as in trying to speak comfort for great bereavement. I will not try it. Time is the only comforter for the loss of a mother.” – Jules Renard
“Those we love don’t go away, They walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always near, Still loved, still missed and very dear. …Wishing you hope in the midst of sorrow, Comfort in the midst of pain.” – Anonymous
“We pray God will Comfort you, And send Angels from above, Giving sweet peace within your heart, Surrounding you with Eternal Love. We are sorry for your deep loss, There’s so little we can find to say, You are in our thoughts and prayers, As we grieve with you today. With Our Heartfelt Sympathy. – Leona Miller
“Although no words can really help to ease the loss you bear, Just know that you are very close in every thought and prayer. To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.” – Thomas Campbell
18-7

Death and Bereavement Quotes

Death is the mother of Beauty; hence from her, Alone, shall come fulfillment to our dreams. And our desires.” – Wallace Stevens
“Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.” – Isaac Asimov
“Death is simply a shedding of the physical body like the butterfly shedding its cocoon. It is a transition to a higher state of consciousness where you continue to perceive, to understand, to laugh, and to be able to grow.” – Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
“The timing of death, like the ending of a story, gives a changed meaning to what preceded it.” – Mary Catherine Bateson
“To live in hearts we leave behind
Is not to die. – Thomas Campbell, “Hallowed Ground”
“Life is eternal, and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight. – Rossiter Worthington Raymond
“When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure.” – Author Unknown
“Although it’s difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.” – Author Unknown
“For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity.” – William Penn
Grief

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am a 1,000 winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sun on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled light
I am the soft star that shines at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there; I did not die.
~by Mary Frye (1932)

The Scottish Crannog Centre

http://www.crannog.co.uk/

Aberfeldy, United Kingdom PH15 2HY

“A crannog is a type of ancient loch-dwelling found throughout Scotland and Ireland dating from 2,500 years ago. An important part of our heritage, many crannogs were built out in the water as defensive homesteads and represented symbols of power and wealth. The Scottish Crannog Centre features a unique reconstruction of an early Iron Age loch-dwelling, built by the Scottish Trust for Underwater Archaeology (STUA), registered charity no. SCO18418. This authentic recreation is based on the excavation evidence from the 2,500 year old site of ‘Oakbank Crannog’, one of the 18 crannogs preserved in Loch Tay, Scotland. The STUA continues to explore other underwater sites in Loch Tay and further afield, regularly adding new discoveries to its award-winning centre at Kenmore, Perthshire.”

Firstly I need to send an apology to the three people who were there, staff wise, when I visited because I do not remember anyones name. Especially that apology needs to be placed to our very friendly, informative guide. I wish I remembered names but i just don’t, I really am that useless.

Also a quick hi to the lovely young, professional, couple from Edinburgh we met there.

I knew we were going here, I’ve been saying it for a while and I knew that this time we were going. So despite the rainy weather we went along.

You start of in the gift shop bit and they point you throught the door into a self guided exhibtion. There was loads of information, pictures and videos and archaelogical finds.
We got to the end just as our man was ready to get going.
Like I said, sorry I forget his name.
You go across the wooden bridge bit towards the building.  Another thank you to our man who managed to stop me from slipping over on the boards. Warning, it’s slippery when wet!!

Getting into the actual warm and dry building was a relief and he directs you to benchs and as your eyes adjust to the gloom you get your first look around.
He gives you a chance to settle in and then gets started with the information bit.

I’m not telling you what he says but he is very informative, no it’s not a lecture, and he really gets you involved.
You get up and have the opportunity to look about and he encourages you to ask any questions (to which I asked loads, all of which he was able to answer!!)

Then you head to the final stage of your tour where you learn about skills, plants, fire making etc and get a hands on chance to do it yourself.

The whole thing was great, I mean really great! You need to go!
As a writer I loved how in depth and hands on everything was but as a tourist my husband was equelly as fascinated.
This may become a yearly trip for us.

A Tuesday Sneak Peak

Both books are almost ready to go!!! Here are little sneaky looks at each!!

Journey

I longed for his eyes to open, the sparkle in his bright blue eyes always bought a smile to my face. His eyes that reminded me so much of my father’s eyes. I was always sad when I thought about how much my son would miss by not having his Grandpa in his life. I listened to the noises that the machines in the room made. They had a melody all of their own if you sat and listened to them day after day. But the only one that made sense to me was the steady beat coming from the heart monitor, this was the important to me, the one I really cared about. As long as that machine continued to drum then everything else would surely be fine. I looked at the others that cluttered the room, each of them giving off their own strange noise sending data out. I pictured the great supercomputer that I imagined must gather all of this information; I laughed as I imagined it sitting in the basement of the large hospital building consuming all the information from the many patients.

Highland Fairlings – Book Two – Ebha

“Look at the wee lass and say aye, Farrell.”
Doing as he was bid, Farrell watched the expressions of the surrounding witnesses. All looked tense and ready to leave.
Relieved when he was unbound from the lass he thought to remove his hand but his fathers strong grip stilled his actions. Kneeling beside him again, his fathers large hand dwarfed his as he spoke quietly, “Lad ye need tay give the lass a wee fairling. Something awfa special.”
Farrell’s free hand immediately and unconsciously sought the smooth surface of his newest treasure. Just a month past he had helped his uncle to skin the howling, raging demon monster that had plagued their lands and slaughtered their livestock. He heard the word wolf many times but to his ears the name did not do justice to the snarling, matted creature he had witnessed meet its end at the hands of his clan.
The tooth was his proudest possession. His gift to commemorate his first involvement with a hunt.
Unhappily he removed the leather thong from which it hung and pleaded silently with his father. He did not want to part with something so special, and he saw no reason that the blabbering lass would deserve such a fine trophy. And yet the soft look in his father’s eyes pleased him.
Pushing the tooth at the wee lass, he angrily watched as the bairn proceeded to shove it towards her mouth. Catching her hand, he grimaced, did the wee thing nay ken nothing? He tied the throng to her belt, using the knot that Alasdair had taught him to make sure that little fingers couldn’t pry it loose.
“Now, give the lass a wee kiss.”
He looked sharply at his father. Had the man lost his senses? He was Farrell Quainn, nine year old heir to these lands, and he didn’t go around kissing no baby’s.
“Do as I bid, mind.” His father reminded him.
Shocked and displeased at the command, he obeyed, leaning down and scrunching up his nose as he quickly pecked a kiss to a squidgy cheek.
He stood uncomfortably as the wee lass flung her arms around his legs, shocking him with the strength of her grip.

My Bookshelves – Week Beginning September 29th

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00KUQRJFI/ref=oh_aui_d_detailpage_o05_?ie=UTF8&psc=1
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B008DYE39O/ref=oh_aui_d_detailpage_o06_?ie=UTF8&psc=1
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00MRACMJS/ref=oh_aui_d_detailpage_o03_?ie=UTF8&psc=1
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00KAOO0CK/ref=oh_aui_d_detailpage_o09_?ie=UTF8&psc=1
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00KLCZSPO/ref=oh_aui_d_detailpage_o02_?ie=UTF8&psc=1
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00M7GOV7I/ref=oh_aui_d_detailpage_o01_?ie=UTF8&psc=1

 

 

My playlist is filled with Yiruma, I love him!

Bullying

stop-bullying-small1

As a child and teenager I was bullied. There was physical and mental bullying. I never really fit in anywhere and as a result I was bullied mercilessly. And it affects you for the rest of your life in ways you don’t even realize.

But worse than that. I bullied. I can’t tell you why, there is no excuse but I can tell you this nothing I say will ever make it better or take it back.

bullying-poster7086-Bullying-is-1_ph70epsEmma

But I can apologize. And I am sorry.

So here it is,
Christey
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I bullied you in year seven. I don’t even remember doing it let alone why. But I am sorry. Who would have thought that when I returned to Old Buckenham High in year ten that we would end up best friends?

And

Ady
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I was rotten to when I was in yr ten, you a year above me. I teased your clothing, your likes, your looks. It’s not right and can’t be dismissed but I did it because I liked you. I guess you figured it out when I started my first year of college and we kind of ‘dated’.

 

Nothing can ever make bullying an excusable thing but I’m standing up and saying sorry.

 

 

Don’t accept bullying. Do something about it. Today.

jtc210_600_400_bullying luker

 

 

Bullying can happen to anyone at any age. Being bullied at school, home or online might involve someone pushing you, hitting you, teasing you, talking about you or calling you names. Nobody has the right to hurt you or make you feel bad. If you are being bullied you don’t have to deal with it alone – talking to someone about it can often really help.

http://www.bullying.co.uk/

If you or a friend are being bullied, it can sometimes feel like nothing can make it stop, especially if it has been happening for a long time.

Bullying can leave you feeling anxious, depressed, lonely, worthless and scared – but it doesn’t have to be like this.

What is bullying?

Bullying can mean many different things and young people have described bullying as:

  • being called names
  • being put down or humiliated
  • being teased
  • being pushed or pulled about
  • having money and other possessions taken or messed about with
  • having rumours spread about you
  • being ignored and left out
  • being hit, kicked or physically hurt
  • being threatened or intimidated

These things can happen at school or at home, but they can also happen online or on social networks.

Bullying can also be part of other forms of abuse, including neglect, emotional, physical and sexual abuse.

You are not alone
Sadly, lots of young people have experienced bullying from name-calling on social networks to physical threats.

Different kinds of bullying…

Homophobic
Bullying someone because they are a different sexual orientation from you. Saying that someone is ‘gay’ or using words like ‘gay’ as an insult.

Racist
Treating people differently because of their race, the colour of their skin, where they are from or what they believe in and using offensive words that describe race to bully people.

Sexist
Treating people differently based on whether they are female or male. For example, thinking that boys are better than girls.

Disabilist
Treating someone differently if they are disabled, or using offensive language to describe people who are disabled and using this to bully people.

Lookist
Bullying someone because they look different  such as if they have ginger hair or wear glasses.

Classist
Deciding that someone is from a particular social class – usually if they are seen as being rich or poor – and bullying them because of this. For example, calling somebody a, ‘chav’ or, ‘snob’.

People can be bullied for all sorts of reasons or for no particular reason at all. Sometimes people who bully others pick up on a small thing that makes someone stand out and they use it to hurt them. This might be the way someone looks, the things they like doing or even what kinds of clothes they wear.

Everyone is different, and it’s these differences that make people who they are. If you are being bullied in person or online, then you might think that it’s your fault – but it isn’t.

Types of Bullying

There are three types of bullying:

  • Verbal bullying is saying or writing mean things. Verbal bullying includes:
    • Teasing
    • Name-calling
    • Inappropriate sexual comments
    • Taunting
    • Threatening to cause harm
  • Social bullying, sometimes referred to as relational bullying, involves hurting someone’s reputation or relationships. Social bullying includes:
    • Leaving someone out on purpose
    • Telling other children not to be friends with someone
    • Spreading rumors about someone
    • Embarrassing someone in public
  • Physical bullying involves hurting a person’s body or possessions. Physical bullying includes:
    • Hitting/kicking/pinching
    • Spitting
    • Tripping/pushing
    • Taking or breaking someone’s things
    • Making mean or rude hand gestures
    • Where and When Bullying Happens

      Bullying can occur during or after school hours. While most reported bullying happens in the school building, a significant percentage also happens in places like on the playground or the bus. It can also happen travelling to or from school, in the youth’s neighborhood, or on the Internet.

My friend is being bullied, what can I do?

Be there for your friend
Sometimes your friend might not want to talk, but being there to listen whenever they are ready is important.

Help take their mind off it
Hanging out, going for a walk, watching a film or playing games together are good ways to take someone’s mind off their problems for a little while.

Support your friend to help them speak out about bullying
It can be very daunting to open up to an adult about your problems. Going with a friend if they’re feeling nervous is a great way to support them.

Help your friend stay safe at school
Staying in a group is a good way to help stop bullying during break times.

Walk home with your friend or sit with them on the bus
It can be hard to get away from people involved in bullying when you are on the way to or from school. Walking with a friend and sitting in a group on the bus could help stop the bullying.

Speak to ChildLine about what is happening
 You can talk to ChildLine, whatever your worry – even if you are worried about something that’s happening to someone else.

Tell your friend about ChildLine
 Make sure your friend knows that they can contact ChildLine any time, day or night, online or by phone. It’s free and confidential, meaning nobody else needs to know.

Find out about your school’s anti-bullying policy
It’s good to know what your school has promised to do in the event of bullying. There might be something in the policy that could help your friend.

Anyone could end up getting involved with bullying. Some people may not realise that what they are doing is bullying and might think they are just teasing, but some people deliberately set out to bully someone and make them unhappy.

You might be bullied by other young people who live near you, or who do activities outside of school with you, like sports or music. You can be bullied by people you have never met through your mobile phone or on the internet.

Members of your family can also bully you. If an adult bullies a child or young person, this is called physical or emotional abuse and it’s really important tell someone about it.

My teacher is bullying me, what can I do?

Your teachers have a duty to look after you. If they or any other adult working in the school is being mean to you, this is not fair. You have a right not to be made to feel stupid, be called names or punished unfairly. Talk to another teacher who you trust, perhaps your form teacher, and tell them what is happening.

I’m too scared to go to school – what should I do?

Nobody has the right to stop you from going to school. Your school has a duty to protect you from bullying and keep you safe. Try taking a quiet moment to talk to someone you trust and tell them about the problem. That could be a teacher or someone else you feel comfortable talking to. They can get in touch with your school and work out a way to help you.

I am being bullied outside school, what can I do?

If the bullying is happening on your way to or from school there are things you can do to stop this:

• Plan a different route to school so you don’t have to go through the areas where the bullying happens
• Keep to well-lit and busy areas so that you don’t have to walk alone at any time

• Take a safety alarm with you – they are not expensive and create a loud noise which can attract help and put bullies off
• Walk with friends, or older brothers and sisters if possible
• If you are being bullied on a bus, sit downstairs rather than on the top deck and tell the driver about what is happening. If it’s a school bus then you can talk to your teacher – they are responsible for you while on a school bus and can make the bullying stop
• Keep a diary of what is happening with dates and times.

If the people bullying you go to the same school as you, it is a good idea to let the school know what is happening, no matter where or when it is they are bullying you. They may not be able to take action about incidents that happen in the evenings or at weekends, but they can make sure it doesn’t happen in school. If the bullies are being violent towards you, it could be helpful to talk to your parents or carers about involving the police who can help you.

I am being bullied at home, what can I do?

If you are being bullied at home by one of your siblings, you should try to talk to your parents or carers about what is happening. They need to know what is going on so they can help make it stop. If you don’t feel like you can talk to a parent or carer, you can always talk to ChildLine.

If you are being bullied by your parents you could try talking to someone who is close to you. Perhaps you have another family member such as aunt or uncle that you could speak to. If you don’t have another family member to talk to, you could speak to your teacher and tell them what is happening to you.

People are sending me nasty texts on my mobile phone what can I do?

If you are receiving nasty or threatening texts or calls on your mobile, tell an adult like a parent or teacher. They can help you put a stop to this. If it doesn’t stop you need to tell the police.

All UK mobile companies are used to dealing with nuisance calls and will have people you can call who can help you deal with this. In the meantime:

• Don’t reply to any nasty messages you receive.
• Keep the messages that you have been sent so you can show someone.
• Don’t answer any calls that are from a withheld number, or from a number
you don’t know.
• Change your mobile number and only give your new number out to close friends.
• If the problem is serious, tell the police or you can call ChildLine on 0800 1111 and we can help.

Mobile phone operators can’t stop a particular number from contacting another phone, but you can do this on some types of phone. Check your phone’s user guide to see if yours can. The mobile phone operator can only take action on an account that is being used to bully you (such as blocking it) if the police are involved.

What is ‘sexting’?

‘Sexting’ is when someone sends or is sent sexually explicit pictures or videos on their mobile phone. You might be encouraged to take pictures of yourself naked or film yourself doing things that you may not be happy about and send them to people. There may also be pressure on you to look at explicit messages that people have been sent, and to encourage other people to get involved.

It’s important to only do what you feel comfortable with. Remember that once you have sent a picture or video to someone else or put it up online, you have no control about where it will go and who will see it. Before sending anything, take a moment to think how you would feel if it ended up on YouTube or on Facebook. If you wouldn’t want anyone else to see it, don’t send it.

If you are worried about anything to do with sexting or being bullied anywhere, you can talk to ChildLine on 0800 1111.

Kids Involved in Bullying

The roles kids play in bullying are not limited to those who bully others and those who are bullied. Some researchers talk about the “circle of bullying” to define both those directly involved in bullying and those who actively or passively assist the behavior or defend against it. Direct roles include:

  • Kids who Bully: These children engage in bullying behavior towards their peers. There are many risk factors that may contribute to the child’s involvement in the behavior. Often, these students require support to change their behavior and address any other challenges that may be influencing their behavior.
  • Kids who are Bullied: These children are the targets of bullying behavior. Some factors put children at more risk of being bullied, but not all children with these characteristics will be bullied. Sometimes, these children may need help learning how to respond to bullying.

Even if a child is not directly involved in bullying, they may be contributing to the behavior. Witnessing the behavior may also affect the child, so it is important for them to learn what they should do when they see bullying happen. Roles kids play when they witness bullying include:

  • Kids who Assist: These children may not start the bullying or lead in the bullying behavior, but serve as an “assistant” to children who are bullying. These children may encourage the bullying behavior and occasionally join in.
  • Kids who Reinforce: These children are not directly involved in the bullying behavior but they give the bullying an audience. They will often laugh or provide support for the children who are engaging in bullying. This may encourage the bullying to continue.
  • Outsiders: These children remain separate from the bullying situation. They neither reinforce the bullying behavior nor defend the child being bullied. Some may watch what is going on but do not provide feedback about the situation to show they are on anyone’s side. Even so, providing an audience may encourage the bullying behavior.
    • These kids often want to help, but don’t know how. Learn how to be “more than a bystander”
  • Kids who Defend: These children actively comfort the child being bullied and may come to the child’s defense when bullying occurs.

Most kids play more than one role in bullying over time. In some cases, they may be directly involved in bullying as the one bullying others or being bullied and in others they may witness bullying and play an assisting or defending role. Every situation is different. Some kids are both bullied and bully others. It is important to note the multiple roles kids play, because:

  • Those who are both bullied and bully others may be at more risk for negative outcomes such as depression or suicidal ideation.
  • It highlights the need to engage all kids in prevention efforts, not just those who are known to be directly involved

I am a bully, what can I do?

Admit to yourself that you are involved in bullying
The first step is admitting that what you are doing is hurting another person. When you know that, you can figure out how to stop.

Say sorry to the people you are bullying
It takes a great deal of courage to admit what you are doing is wrong, and apologise sincerely.

Think about what is making you bully someone
Is there something happening in your life which is making you upset, frustrated or angry?

Stop yourself from sending an abusive message
Sending a message, writing a post, a tweet, an email or a text which is designed to hurt someone else is bullying. Even if you’ve written the message out, you can delete it.

Stop yourself from sharing or commenting on an abusive post or message
Even a comment like LOL or a smiley face on an abusive post can make the other person feel much worse, like they’re being ganged up on.

Find a new way to gain people’s respect
Find a way to gain people’s genuine respect. This could be as simple as deciding to answer more questions in lessons. You could practise your favourite sport and become fitter or work on a talent, like singing, dance or drawing.

Speak to ChildLine
You might worry that nobody will help you if you admit to bullying. We won’t judge you or put you down – ChildLine are here to listen to you, no matter what your worry is.

 

There are many other types of aggressive behavior that don’t fit the definition of bullying. This does not mean that they are any less serious or require less attention than bullying. Rather, these behaviors require different prevention and response strategies.
Peer Conflict

It is not bullying when two kids with no perceived power imbalance fight, have an argument, or disagree. Conflict resolution or peer mediation may be appropriate for these situations.

Teen Dating Violence

Teen dating violence is intimate partner violence that occurs between two young people who are, or once were, in a relationship.

Hazing

Hazing  is the use of embarrassing and often dangerous or illegal activities by a group to initiate new members.

Gang Violence

There are specialized approaches to addressing violence and aggression within or between gangs

Harassment

Although bullying and harassment sometimes overlap, not all bullying is harassment and not all harassment is bullying. Under federal civil rights laws, harassment is unwelcome conduct based on a protected class (race, national origin, color, sex, age, disability, religion) that is severe, pervasive, or persistent and creates a hostile environment.

Stalking
Stalking  is repeated harassing or threatening behavior such as following a person, damaging a person’s property, or making harassing phone calls.
Workplace Bullying

The term bullying is typically used to refer to behavior that occurs between school-aged kids. However, adults can be repeatedly aggressive and use power over each other, too. Adults in the workplace have a number of different laws that apply to them that do not apply to kids.

Early Childhood

Young children may be aggressive and act out when they are angry or don’t get what they want, but this is not bullying.

Young Adults

Behaviors that are traditionally considered bullying among school-aged youth require special attention and different strategies in young adults and college students.

I’m Cheap!!!!

For those that know me this will come as no suprise but I’m cheap.

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Yeah, one and the same thing right?

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This is what I like to see. This is the price I like to pay. I don’t want to be cheap and cheerful, for a change I’d like to be rich and miserable.

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See above picture? I would be so HAPPY. I LOVE books!!!!

Which gets me back on topic.

I’m actually paying for this book!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Electricity-Ray-Robinson-ebook/dp/B003GK22L6/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1410463860&sr=8-4&keywords=ELECTRICITY

Now, obviously I haven’t read it yet but expect it soon!!!!!!

Product Description

Lily’s epilepsy means she’s used to seeing the world in terms of angles — you look at every surface, you weigh up every corner, and you think of your head slamming into it — but what would she be like without her sharp edges? Prickly, spiky, up-front honest and down-to-earth practical, Lily is thirty, and life’s not easy but she gets by. Needing no-one and asking for nothing, it’s just her and her epilepsy: her constant companion. But then her mother — who Lily’s not seen for years — dies, and Lily is drawn back into a world she thought she’d long since left behind. Forced to renegotiate the boundaries of her life, she realises she has alot to learn — about relationships, about the past, and about herself — and some difficult decisions ahead of her. ‘An eviscerating debut novel . . . Its fast, furious plot, kaleidoscopic imagery, blunt observations and a wry, ingenuous, hugely compassionate heroine make Electricity a breathtaking assault on the senses’ Guardian ‘An energetic debut, bristling with talent . . . It’s black, savage, funny and rather uncomfortably haunting’ The Times ‘Ray Robinson’s Electricity is a thorny, uncompromising novel, with attitude. It is also — thanks to Lily O’Connor, its sharp-edged, hard-living, tough-talking narrator — mesmerising, uplifting and unexpectedly tender’ JIM CRACE
I’ll let you know how it goes!!!!

Family

When I was little I lived with my mum, due to circumstances that would take all day to explain but involved abuse and neglect, I moved in with my dad, stepmum and two-step sister.    I no longer saw my birth mother or members from that family.

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I never missed out on anything. I was a daddy’s girl and very spoilt by my gran (dad’s mum).

my mum (step-mum) never made me feel unwanted, my two sisters (step-sisters) never made me feel like they weren’t my sisters.

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Now we weren’t well off, but if my sisters got something then I got it too.
but to me, growing up it didn’t feel that way. Middle child with two stunningly beautiful sisters I never fit in. Now most of this was due to me. I never really tried overly hard to fit in with people. When I was 15, my sister Hollie actually yelled at me questioning why ~I had to be so weird.

Was I weird? Probably. I’ve always suffered with depression, feeling insecure physically didn’t help.  I’m not a particularly social person, I don’t know how to make friends or communicate very well. We also moved a lot, this didn’t help.

When  I was 14 I decided I was going off to meet my mother. I did. When I was 17 I moved in with her. She always denied having harmed me in any way. I loved being a big sister to Saffron, Megan and Glenn. Eventually Saffron married and had children. I loved being an aunt and had the boys a lot.

Over a year ago I fell out with my birth mother. She hadn’t come when I had a really bad seizure and had asked for her. I didn’t ask for anything from her, this time I really wanted the comfort of having my mother. She did not pick up the phone. Arguments ensued and things were said and in the end I said enough was enough, I’d always felt slightly used. I  had to go to them, they didn’t show up when we made plans, they only called if they needed something.
Due to that falling out I have now lost touch with my sister, brother and nephews. none will speak to me.  I don’t know what was said to them but it breaks my heart.

Family can be a bitch. I mean all people can but family are supposed to love you unconditionally.

So what do you do when they don’t?

 

Am I ranting? Perhaps. But at least I know who I can rely on.

 

Family-is-everything

 

My family mean the world to me and all are ready to offer support when it’s needed. So I love you: Rebecca, David, Fraser, Alison, Alison, Alistair, Euan, Morag, William, ann, Stuart, Tracy, Aline, Gaye, Damien, Joanna, Tammie, Carrie, Mark, Therene, Steven, Brandon.
And thank you to Nanny Pat (mum Angie’s mum), Sylvis (Hollie’s gran on her dad’s side.) Jessica (Sylvia’s daughter)

There are many more, family who have loved me, cared for me. Family that unfortunately passed away. It just proves a point that blood doesn’t make you family, love does.

So…

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Thank you. Gran Mary, Dad Wull, Mum Angie and my sisters Kim and Hollie.

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And a huge thank you to my husband Mark. Always there regardless of how crazy I sometimes seem.

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Language – A thought but not a Thursday Thought

Normally you would have to wait until a Thursday for a random thought for me but my husband leaving for work this morning just made me have to write this.

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It’s a simple question, right? Or is it merely a trick question?
Now I admit to being lucky.

speech1(I’m looking above and can’t help wondering if that shouldn’t be spelt speach?)

Speech therapy as a child and then again in my late teens seemed to diminish any novelties in my speech and dialect.

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And then there’s (Horrifying!!!) examples of a language all of its own that I don’t even begin to understand..

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They are all accepted examples of English. I merely wonder how long it will be till people either all speak the same or do not understand each other at all.

 

What started this? You’ll recall above I said it was my husband. 12 years in a relationship and you find little things that are just yours. For us it’s our morning goodbye which we have done for years. I should point out that I’m from Lanarkshire, Scotland, and nuances of speech come from there and words do sneak in. My husband is from Norfolk, England.

 

Mark – I’ll see you later on.
That’s what it’s supposed to be, with his dialect it turns into..
Ah see ya late Ron.

To which my response has always been

Emma – Sure Ron, unless I’m invisible.

 

 

Point? I just love variations of language and speech. Aswell as little things couples do that they may not even notice anymore..